High Fantasy
by albinotanuki
Summary: Rick and Morty travel to a fantasy world to collect magic crystals, but when they get in trouble with the law, they must find a way to escape, along with the help of a blind squire.
1. Chapter 1

Morty was in his room, struggling with homework, when Rick came in with his portal gun.

"Come on, Morty. We need to go to another dimension to get some magic crystals."

"Aww geez, Rick, I'm trying to pass math class. Besides, I thought, as a scientist, you didn't believe in magic."

"I don't, Morty. Magic is just a generic word used by idiots who think the world is flat trying to explain science, pretty much like today, Morty."

Rick shot the portal gun into the wall and took Morty through.

They ended up in a vast cave made of purple, shinning crystals. A butterfly flew past them, singing a repetitive song, and Rick shot at it with his ray gun.

"Geez, insects really get annoying this time of year." said Rick, "Come on, Morty. Help me collect these crystals."

"W-what are these crystals suppose to be for?" asked Morty.

"Supposedly to power some weapons, but mostly, I'm just gonna snort them." said Rick.

Rick and Morty started chipping away at the crystals. Rick put a few in his pockets along with smaller pieces in a vile.

"Okay Morty, I think those are enough crystals for what we need."

Suddenly, a sword swung at both of them. Rick and Morty looked over to see the sword wielder was a woman cladded in shining armor. Next to her, a young boy with clouded eyes around Morty's age (possibly a year older).

"A female knight and her blind partner?" said Rick, "Oh my God, it's like that movie, _Quest for Camelot_. Tell me; was your world also meddled with by corporate executives trying to cash in on the craze of the Disney Renaissance?"

"We're placing you under arrest." said the knight, "It is illegal for foreigners to harvest these crystals without a permit."

"Aww geez, Rick, I knew this was gonna get us in trouble." said Morty.

"Don't worry, Morty; I've got my ray gun right here, Morty."

Rick was about to get his ray gun out when the young boy knocked it out of his hand with his staff, hit him in the chin, then held Rick in a chokehold.

"Okay, apparently this kid is really good at martial arts. I also probably shouldn't have said I had a ray gun." said Rick.

Morty was about to run away when the knight grabbed him by the shirt collar. Both he and Rick were taken.


	2. Chapter 2

Rick and Morty were placed in a dungeon of a Medieval-like castle and their weapons and portal gun were taken away. Morty panicked, worrying about what sort of punishment they would receive.

"Aww Rick, w-what are we gonna do?"

"Don't worry, Morty." said Rick, "I was able to confiscate some of those crystals. I just need you to grind them into a fine powder so I can snort them. They'll give me temporary super strength like the Gummi berry juice from the Gummi Bears tv show."

Rick handed Morty the crystals.

"A-are you sure about this?" asked Morty.

"Trust me, Morty. It's the only way."

Morty sighed, grinding the crystals until they were as fine as powdered sugar. Rick snorted the crystals, went up to the bars of their cell, and bent them until they broke.

"OH YEAH!" said Rick as his nose bled.

"M-maybe we should get you some medical attention." said Morty.

"No need, Morty; I feel great! WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!"

Rick and Morty went off, sneaking pass the guards. As they went pass the halls, they heard a tapping noise. They stood silently as the squire from before approached and stopped in his tracks, holding his staff up.

"Who goes there?" he said.

Rick and Morty remained silent.

"Don't act like you're not there; I can smell alcohol on your breath."

"Okay, fine. You got us." said Rick, "I guess you'll try to turn us in; I'm actually wanted in countless dimensions and galaxies."

Morty sighed and went up to the blind boy.

"Look, we're sorry we tried to take those crystals. We, or at least I had no idea it was illegal to take them."

"I trust you. You seem to be innocent." said the squire before pointing his staff at Rick, "You, on the other hand, I don't trust."

"Fair enough. I d*belch*on't have a clear record when it comes to being trustworthy."

"Look, could you just let the both of us go?" asked Morty, "My grandpa won't live for much longer and I've only gotten to know him for a short time."

The young squire thought for a moment before putting his staff away.

"Alright. I'll let you go."

"Great." said Rick, "So do you know where we can get our stuff back?"

"All items confiscated from foreign prisoners are sent to the holding facility 100 miles from here." said the squire.

"Oh great. So it's a 'Your princess is in another castle.' scenario." said Rick, "Okay, the technology of this world is pretty primitive, so unless if the people taking our stuff have giant eagles they can fly, we can catch up with them."

"They actually have dragons." said the squire.

"I was being facetious, but thank you." said Rick.

The squire cocked his head up.

"I can hear the guards coming. Quick, follow me."

"Okay." said Morty, "I'm Morty, by the way, and this is my grandpa, Rick"

"Fendrel." said the squire.

"Yeah, can we cut the introductions before we're thrown back into the dungeon?" said Rick.

"Right."

Fendrel lead Rick and Morty away from the guards and out of the castle.


	3. Chapter 3

Rick, Morty, and Fendrel walked for quite some time. Although it wasn't extremely hot, the heat was getting to Morty.

"Aww geez, Rick, my feet are getting tired."

"Quit your whining, Morty." said Rick, "Once we get my portal gun back, we'll be out of this Rankin/Bass knock-off world."

Morty sighed, then turned to Fendrel.

"It was nice of you to let Rick and I go back there."

"Well I know what it's like to lose a grandfather." said Fendrel.

"You do?" asked Morty.

"Yes. My grandfather use to look after me after my mother died giving birth before he died."

"Your mom died giving birth? Haven't heard that before." said Rick sarcastically.

"Rick, be nice." said Morty.

"I don't do nice, Morty; if I hear an overused cliche, I call it out."

Suddenly, out of the bushes, came a small, woolly, bearded creature, hopping up and down like a pogo stick.

"Hello there! LAMBKIN LAMBKIN! Are you headed somewhere? LAMBKIN LAMBKIN?"

Morty looked at the weird creature.

"W-what is that?" asked Morty.

"I believe that's a lambkin." said Fendrel, "They tend to hide out in the forest and pop out whenever visitors come around."

"I know all sorts of magic tricks! LAMBKIN LAMBKIN!" said the lambkin.

"Oh my God, we just met this thing and already I hate him." said Rick, before turning to Fendrel, "Quick, let me borrow your whacking stick."

"No, I need that!" said Fendrel, grasping onto his staff, "Besides, why would you want to hurt a lambkin? They're innocent creatures of the forest."

"Because they annoy the shit out of me!" said Rick, "I especially won't stand for it if it starts to sing and make pop culture references."

"But YOU make pop culture references." said Morty.

"It's funny when I do it; not when Snarf mixed with the gargoyles from Disney's _The Hunchback of Notre Dame_ does it."

"We're gonna be the bestest of best friends. LAMBKIN LAMBKIN!" said the lambkin.

"Look. M-maybe if we just ignore it, it'll go away." said Morty.

"Oh, I can see us going on all sorts of fun adventures together!" said the lambkin," LAMBKIN LAMB-"

Suddenly, a rotting tree fell on the lambkin and squashed him.

"Huh. A Deus Ex Machina." said Rick, "Normally I'd call whoever was writing this a lazy hack for exercising this, but since it got rid of the one character that would bog down this story, I commend them."

The three of them then went on their way.


	4. Chapter 4

Rick, Morty, and Fendrel continued on their journey through a rocky valley. As they walked, Morty decided to make small talk with Fendrel.

"So your knight is a woman and you're her squire? That's pretty cool." said Morty, "I guess sexism and ableism aren't really a thing in this dimension."

"Oh, we have sexism and ableism here." said Fendrel.

"Yeah, prejudice doesn't easily go away no matter how much progress you make, Morty. You should've learnt that when Obama got elected President." said Rick.

Fendrel then stopped.

"I hear something."

"What? Your Daredevil senses are acting up?" said Rick, "You know, there's really no point in your character to be blind if you senses are better than everyone else's, otherwise you just perpetuate the stereotype that blind people have better senses than normal people."

"No. I-I hear it too." said Morty.

A soft growl echoed, gradually getting louder. Suddenly, a large lion like creature with a scorpion's tail appeared.

"MANTICORE!" screamed Rick.

"A WHAT?" sais Morty.

"Seriously Morty, read up on Persian mythology."

The Manticore started approaching them.

"W-well we still have those magic crystals, right?" asked Morty.

"We used them all up when we escaped that Dungeon, Morty!"

The mantacore sprung out, tackling Rick. It then brought its tail forward and stabbed Rick in the chest with its venomous spike.

"RICK!" screamed Morty.

Fendrel then came and whacked the manticore on the head.

"Morty, get your grandfather out of here!"

"But what about you?!" said Morty.

"I'll be fine; just go!"

Morty hesitantly took Rick, dragging him away from the action. As he did, Morty saw Fendrel get scratched by the manticore. Out of concern, Morty looked around, saw some rocks, and started throwing them at the manticore.

"GO! GET OUT OF HERE!" screamed Morty, "I-I WON'T LET YOU HURT MY FRIEND!"

The Manticore then ran off. Morty ran over to Fendrel, who was holding his scratched shoulder.

"A-are you okay?" asked Morty.

"I'll be fine." said Fendrel, "I'm more worried about your grandfather."

"Oh, right." said Morty.

Morty lead Fendrel over to Rick.

"He's lucky. That manticore almost pierced his heart." said Fendrel.

"H-how do we save him?" asked Morty.

"We'll need to get him some medicine." said Fendrel, "Morty, I need you to find a plant with curled thorns and purple flowers... or was it red? I don't really know my colors."

"Okay, I'll go look."

Morty then went off to look for the medicinal plant.

Rick started waking up.

"M-Morty."

"Morty's not here. It's me: Fendrel." said Fendrel.

"Morty," said Rick, "if I die, I just want you to know you're an idiot, Morty. That's the best kind of Morty a Rick can have."

Morty then returned with the flower.

"I found it!" said Morty.

"Good. Put the flowers in Rick's mouth." said Fendrel.

"Here Rick. This should help make you feel better."

Morty placed the flowers in Rick's mouth.

"Ugh. Tastes like chalk mixed with perfume."

"Just swallow them." said Morty.

Rick swallowed the flowers. His wound suddenly began to magically disappear.

"Hey, I think it worked." said Morty.

"Yeah, that's great." said Rick, "Could somebody get me a beer?"


	5. Chapter 5

Nighttime fell. Rick, Morty, and Fendrel built a campfire and made tacos.

"So you call these things 'tacos'?" said Fendrel to Morty, "I'll admit, the spicing is a little much for me, but otherwise, it's good."

Morty looked over at Rick, who was eating rotting berries.

"Rick, I don't think those rotting berries."

"I'll get my alcohol fix wherever I can, Morty." said Rick, "Besides, I just survived a manticore's sting; I'M INVINCIBLE!"

Morty sighed, then turned to Fendrel.

"So Fendrel, w-what's it like being a squire? I'm sure it takes a lot of training."

"It does." said Fendrel, "Dame Ione drills me quite often."

"Is Dame Ione your knight?" asked Morty.

"Yes." said Fendrel, "She the one that took me in when my grandfather died. She often lets me do most of the fighting in battle... actually, I can't seem to recall a time when she didn't make me do all the fighting for her, or ever saving me when I was in trouble."

"Well that's not right." said Morty, "Why do you let her use you like that? Heck, why are you even her squire still?"

"Because she's the only one who believes in my abilities." sighed Fendrel.

"Oh..." said Morty, looking down at the ground, Yeah, I know what it's like for people to look down at you cause of your disability. But you know, you're really good at fighting, especially against that manticore."

"Thanks. You too." smiled Fendrel.

"Ugh. Jesus Christ. Would you two just get married already?" said Rick.

"Rick, do you always have to be such an asshole all the time?" asked Morty.

"You know I think sentiment is bullshit, Morty."

"Yeah, but do you have to be such a bully about it?"

"We've all been bullies some time in our lives, Morty, and back in my days, if we got bullied, we didn't whine about it and just dealt with it."

"Yeah, and look how you turned out."

"Is your relationship with your grandfather always like this?" asked Fendrel.

"Unfortunately." said Morty.

Just then, Rick farted. Morty and Fendrel held their noses.

"AWW GEEZ, RICK!" said Morty.

"Yeah, I think those b*belch*erries are getting to me."

Rick farted again.


	6. Chapter 6

Rick, Morty, and Fendrel continued on their quest. It was smooth sailing outside of Rick's constant gas. Finally, they reached their destination. The holding facility was a vast castle with dragons flying everywhere and large costumed guards guarding it. Rick, Morty, ad Fendrel his behind a rock, observing the fort.

"Aww geez. How are we suppose to get in?" asked Morty.

"Judging from how heavily guarded the castle is, I'd say we _Wizard of Oz_ it." said Rick.

"What's _The Wizard of Oz_?" asked Fendrel.

"A 2.7 Million dollar film based off an L. Frank Baum children's book." said Rick.

"Well we can't just sneak up on the guards and steal their clothes. I mean, they've got be 200 to 300 pounds in muscle, Rick." said Morty.

All of a sudden, a dragon flew by, shedding its skin, and dropping it on the three. Morty panicked and Rick tried to calm him down.

"Morty, calm down. This dragon skin is just what we need."

Rick, Morty, and Fendrel used the dragon's skin as a costume and snuck into the castle. As they went through the entry way, a large guard came up to them.

"Halt! Dragons aren't allowed inside the castle!"

Morty was scared. Quickly, he tried to make the only noise he could think of.

"MOO!"

"Moo? Seriously?" whispered Fendrel.

"I don't know what noises dragons make." Morty whispered back.

"Hew wait a minute. Dragon's don't 'moo'!"

The guard took off their dragon skin, revealing the three of them. Rick then grabbed the corner of the dragon skin and hurled it over the guard's head.

"LETS GO! MOVE!"

Morty grabbed Fendrel's wrist and they ran off into the hallway until they lost the guard.

"Okay, I think we're good." said Rick.

At that moment, Fendrel's knight showed up.

"Fendrel?" asked the knight.

"Dame Ione? W-what are you doing here?" asked Fendrel.

"I was going to ask the same of you." said Dame Ione, "And why are you with the prisoners we captured earlier?"

"To be fair, I have no trust in the old man, but Morty wanted to be with his grandfather and I couldn't help but feel bad for him."

"I see." said Ione.

Suddenly, Ione pulled out a raygun and shot at Fendrel.

"FENDREL!" shouted Morty.

"Sorry Fendrel," said Ione, "but after discovering the technology for these 'rayguns', it's going to make knighting much easier. I still appreciate your service though."

"You BITCH!" said Rick, "GIVE ME BACK MY RAYGUN!"

Ione shot Rick in the arm.

"Guards, take them away!"

The guards came and carried Rick, Morty, and Fendrel away.


	7. Chapter 7

Rick, Morty, and Fendrel were put in the dungeon. Morty went over to Fendrel, who was suffering from his gunshot wound.

"Aww geez, I can't believe this." said Morty.

"I agree." said Rick, "She turned out to be a twist villain. I thought something lame like that was something only Disney does nowadays."

"Now's not the time to complain about overused cliches!"

Morty got out some of the healing flowers from earlier.

"Here, Fendrel. I saved some of those flowers. They're a little wilted, but they should work... I think."

Morty gave Fendrel the flowers.

"Thanks Morty." said Fendrel, "You're a good friend."

"Ugh. Again with the cheesy bromance. At this point, it'd be considered queer baiting." said Rick.

"You know Rick, you got us into this mess in the first place, why don't you try getting us out?" said Morty.

"Alright. Fine. I'll see if I can MacGyver us out of here."

Rick reached in his pockets and pulled out a ballpoint pen, a button, and an empty TicTac box.

"How are we suppose to get out of here with those?" asked Morty.

"Just trust me, Morty; I've got an idea."

Rick went up to the cell door and with the items he had, he started throwing them at the sleeping muscle-bound guard that was suppose to keep watch of them.

"Rick, what are you doing?!" said Morty.

"Trust me, Morty, I know what I'm doing here."

Rick then threw the TicTac box at the guard's head, waking him up.

"Hey!" said Rick to the guard, "Lick my balls, you overgrown Shrek knock-off!"

"WHAT?!"

The guard charged after them, opening the cell door.

"Come on, Morty, lets go!"

Without question, Morty picked up Fendrel and ran out of the cell door. Rick followed, locking the guard in the cell.

"Wow. I can't believe that actually worked." said Morty

"Yeah, fun fact, Morty: the guards are always idiots in these fantasy narratives." said Rick.

Rick, Morty, and Fendrel escaped into the hallway, looking for Rick's portal gun and ray gun. They came across an unguarded room labeled "Weapons Room".

"Okay. This could be a trap." said Rick, "Stay close, kids."

Rick opened the door. The room was filled from top to bottom with weapons. Rick found his ray gun among the clash of weapons.

"Okay, now we need to find my portal gun."

"Wow. That was convenient." said Morty, "Especially since they put that sign up."

"Maybe a little too convenient." groaned Fendrel.

"W-what do you mean?" asked Morty.

"I have a feeling we're not alone."

All of a sudden, guards came out from the stacks of weapons.

"Okay kids, grab a weapon. Things are gonna get messy." said Rick.

Morty grabbed a claidheamh mor and started blocking the guard's blows, Fendrel fought and blocked the guard's moves, and Rick started shooting with his ray gun. Morty realized they were outnumbered when he noticed that the room was lit by a single iron chandelier attached to a chain tied to the wall. Morty went over to cut the rope from the wall holding the chain. The Chandelier fell to the ground, blacking out the room. Only the light of Rick's ray gun could be seen. Chaos ensued.

Fendrel went over to Morty in confusion.

"Morty, is that you? What's going on?"

"I turned the lights out so we can escape." said Morty.

"Good thinking."

"Yeah." said Morty, "Could you help lead us out of here? It's REALLY dark in here."

"Sure."

Morty held onto Fendrel's arm. Fendrel went over Rick and grabbed him by the lab coat, dragging him out of the room and locking the door, trapping the guards inside.

"Okay, now we need to find my portal gun." said Rick.

"You mean over there?" said Morty, pointing to the portal gun on a pedestal in the middle of the hallway.

"Huh." said Rick, "Either the designer of these traps is very clever or very stupid."

Rick walked up to the pedestal, grabbed the portal gun, and a giant spider dropped down on him. Rick then shot at the spider multiple times before escaping and running out with Morty and Fendrel.

They went outside, stole one of the dragons, and flew off. Rick flipped off the guards bellow.


	8. Chapter 8

After flying for some time, Rick, Morty, and Fendrel landed by a caravan where Rick traded the dragon for some mead. They built a campfire together.

"You know, those coded Romani people seemed to like having that dragon." said Rick as he was fiddling with his portal gun, "Man, they really messed up my portal gun."

Morty didn't pay much attention to Rick. He was more concerned about Fendrel, who seemed quite sad at the moment.

"Hey. I'm sorry your knight betrayed you like that."

"Ione was the closest thing to a mother I ever had." said Fendrel, "I guess I was just too blind to see her ulterior motives."

"Yeah. I know what its like to be betrayed by the ones you love." said Morty.

Rick was drinking mead at the time.

"*belch* I'm sorry, you were saying?"

"THIS DOESN'T CONCERN YOU, RICK!" shouted Morty.

Morty turned back to Fendrel.

"You know, you could always visit our dimension. We could play games and watch tv-well maybe not tv since you can't see, but we could still hang out."

"I'd like that." smiled Fendrel.

Rick finally finished fixing the portal gun and shot it into the air.

"Come on, Morty. Lets go home."

Morty then took Fendrel's hand.

"Wait, you're serious about taking him along with us?" asked Rick.

"Yeah, I thought he'd be interested in seeing what our world is like." said Morty.

"Alright, fine; just don't let him touch any of my stuff."

Morty lead Fendrel in through the portal, into the living room.

"Well here we are." said Morty.

"Why is it so cold in here?" asked Fendrel as he shivered.

"I believe that's the air conditioner." said Morty, "It keeps the house cool."

At that moment, Summer came into the room, texting on her cell phone.

"Oh Summer, hey, this is Fendrel. Fendrel, this is my sister, Summer." said Morty.

"Sup?" said Summer.

"M'lady." said Fendrel as he reached out for Summer's hand and kissed it.

"Yeah, I'd be careful doing that. Feminists get super pissed off about chivalry for some odd reason." said Rick.

"That's because it promotes benevolent sexism which places women on a pedestal above men rather than on equal footing." said Summer.

"Geez, first you complain about not having enough respect from men and then you complain about having too much respect. What is it that you women want?"

At that moment, Beth came home from work.

"Ugh. I swear if I had to put my hand inside another horse today, I'd scream."

"That's my mom." said Morty to Fendrel, "She's a horse vet."

Beth looked over at Fendrel.

"I see you brought home a new friend from another dimension judging from the clothes he's wearing." said Beth to Morty, "I guess as long as it's not one of your grandfather's alien friends, I'm fine with it."

At that moment, Jerry walked in.

"Hey gang. Am I missing anything?"

"The fandom doesn't like you, Jerry. Go away." said Rick.

"I take it that's your father the way your grandfather interacting with him." said Fendrel to Morty.

"Correct." said Morty.

"Well I better put another plate on the table." said Beth. "We're having leftover meatloaf by the way."


	9. Chapter 9

The family and Fendrel gathered at the dinner table and started eating.

"So let me get this straight. You cooked the meatloaf, ate some of it, froze it, cooked it again, and now we're eating it again?" asked Fendrel.

"Yeah, that's what leftovers are." said Morty.

"I don't know. I guess I'm just more use to eating everything at once before it all spoils. Can't tell you the multiple times I've almost died from food poisoning."

"So, you're a squire." said Jerry, "Pretty daring stuff. I for one am in advertising, which has its own risks."

"Advertising?" asked Fendrel.

"It's promoting the stuff you want to sell." said Jerry, "For instance, someone wants to sell apples, I put up a sign that says 'Hungry for Apples?' which gets people to think about buying apples and both I and the seller of apples make money."

"Sounds manipulative." said Fendrel.

"It is." said Rick, "Ads pretty much shape out Capitalist society manipulating us in what we think and say."

"Yeah, and even you're an ad, Grandpa, with your catchphrases and constant spewing of pop culture references. This is why I hate Capitalism." said Summer, who was on her cell phone.

"Summer, we're having dinner. Could you please not look at your cell phone at the table?" asked Beth.

"I'm looking at my stats, Mom."

"You can look at them later, Summer. It's not polite. Especially when we have a guest over."

"Fendrel's from a world without technology; to him, it's probably just normal behavior for us to constantly be on our cell phones, which, nowadays, it is."

"Well I'm not gonna have it be normal in our house, so put down that phone or you're grounded young lady!"

Summer sighed, putting her cell phone away.

"This is actually some good meatloaf, Mrs. Smith." said Fendrel.

"Oh, why thank you, Fendrel." said Beth, "I'm certainly glad we're able to eat this after having to eat nothing but pills for so long."

"Yeah, aliens took over our world and forced us to eat pills." said Morty.

"Well at least I have a well paying job then." said Jerry.

"That's why people hate you, Jerry; you're a spineless opportunist." said Rick.

"Hey, I was only trying to provide for my family."

"Yeah, by working for a bunch of galactic bureaucrats."

"You know, as man of the house, I deserve a little respect."

"Oh yeah? how's this for respect?"

Rick then grabbed a spoon and flung some meatloaf at Jerry's face.

"THAT'S IT!" said Beth, "I make a nice dinner for everyone, with a guest over, and all of you have completely ruined it! And people wonder why I drink!"

Beth got up and ran out of the dining room.

"Unfortunately, this a normal occurrence in our house." said Morty to Fendrel.


	10. Chapter 10

Morty showed Fendrel around his world; from the wonders of the internet to how a urinal works.

One day, Morty was teaching Fendrel how to play Chinese Checkers.

"So, it's called 'Chinese Checkers' even though it was invented in Germany?" asked Fendrel.

"Yeah, apparently they changed the name from Sternhalma to Chinese Checkers in order to sell the game in the United States after World War I. That's what Rick told me anyways." said Morty.

Fendrel sighed.

"W-what's wrong?" asked Morty.

"I don't know. I'm a little bored to be honest." said Fendrel, "Don't get me wrong; it's amazing the kinds of innovations your world has, like Penicillin and your mom has been talking to me about finding a doctor that would help me with my blindness, but other than that, it's just not as exciting as the world I'm from. I guess you could say I'm a little homesick."

"Well, you know, you can always go back home." said Morty.

"To what?" asked Fendrel, "As if I wasn't already an orphan; Dame Ione abandoned me."

"Well, you DID say you were homesick. It wouldn't hurt to go back just for a little while."

"...I guess you're right."

Morty helped lead Fendrel to the garage where Rick was working.

"Hey Rick, Fendrel says he's homesick. Would it be okay to visit his dimension for a bit?" asked Morty.

"You wanna go back there already?" asked Rick, "Don't you wanna show him how a fidget spinner works or has that fad already passed?"

"It's already passed." said Morty.

"Okay." sighed Rick, "I do still need those crystals anyways."

Rick shot at the wall with his portal gun and lead Morty and Fendrel through it. They ended up in the castle where they were first thrown in the dungeon after trying to harvest the magic crystals.

"Damnit, I put in the wrong coordinates." said Rick.

Morty looked around, noticing strange banners on the walls.

"Huh. I don't remember seeing those banners before we got here."

Suddenly, the guards came in back of them and grabbed all three.

They were then taken to the throne room where, at the throne, sat Dame Ione.

"Wait, YOU'RE ruler of this kingdom?!" said Morty.

"Yes." said Dame Ione, "After your grandfather provided us technology from his raygun, I, along with some of the guards, staged a coup against the king. Now I rule this land."

"Dame Ione, how could you?" said Fendrel.

"It was quite easy actually." said Dame Ione.

"Oh great. So now you're gonna throw us in the dungeon a third time? I am NOT in the mood for that right now." said Rick.

"No." said Queen Ione, "You will all be put to death via shooting squad."

"WHAT?! NO!" said Morty.

"WAIT!" said one of the guards holding Fendrel, "This blind boy bares a mark on his right arm; just like the king."

"Of course." said another guard, "The king must've lay with one of the peasant women prima noctis."

"Wait, what are they talking about?" asked Morty.

"It means, my boy, that your friend is king."

"So he's the chosen one?" said Rick, "Can this narrative get any more cliche?"

Queen Ione stood worried. She held up her raygun, ready to shoot.

"Stay back! All of you!"

"What should we do with the false queen, your majesty?" asked the guard to Fendrel.

Fendrel, who was still shocked from hearing he was king, thought for a moment.

"...Banish her."

"But your highness, that would be mercy!"

"I SAID BANISH HER!"

"...Yes your majesty."

The guards ganged up on Queen Ione and dragged her out as she was kicking and screaming.

"Huh. So you're king." said Morty to Fendrel, "That's neat."

"Yeah."

Fendrel then planted a kiss on Morty.

"Oh, no. I-I'm straight." said Morty.

"Oh." said Fendrel, "You're just so sensitive, I thought-"

"Yeah, no." said Morty, "Maybe there's a gay Morty out there or maybe even a Morticia if you're bi."

"...So I guess this means I have royal duties to attend to." said Fendrel.

"Yeah." said Morty.

Rick then came up to Fendrel.

"So does that mean-"

"Yes, it's still illegal to harvest magic crystals without a permit."

"Jesus Christ, why do you gotta be such a buzzkill? Come on, Morty. Lets find some other dimension to steal things from."

Rick shot the portal gun in the wall and dragged Morty with him.


	11. Chapter 11

Rick and Morty returned home to a meal of leftover meatloaf. The doorbell rang and Morty went to open it.

"Package for Morty Smith." said the mail man.

"Who's it from?" asked Morty.

"I don't know. Some people wearing Renaissance fair clothing."

Morty hesitantly took the package. He took it into the kitchen and opened it. Inside were the magic crystals and a note.

 _"Dear Morty,_

 _Thank you for being there for me and showing me your world. Sorry things didn't work out. I wanted to give you these crystals as a token of my appreciation. Hope we meet again some day._

 _Signed,_

 _King Fendrel."_

At that moment, Rick came into the room.

"IT'S THE CRYSTALS!"

Rick stuck his face into the box, snorted some of the dust, and then punched a hole into the wall.

"WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!"


End file.
